Trip report: Disneyland Paris for my birthday :)

On the 23rd and 24th of July, Bert and I went to France for my birthday (which is on the 24th). 
Yeah I know, nearly a month late, but I've been so busy that urgh, I couldn't do it sooner. Better late than never right? 
Right! 
Let's get into it!

Our plan was to first go to my tattoo appointment with Lunie in Liège and then drive on to Champs-sur-Marne where the hotel is. 
I did go to the appointment, Lunie and I had a good time catching up and she gave me stickers for my laptop and netbook (thank you Lunie!). 



As planned, after that we drove off to Champs-sur-Marne. Via the castle, as to not get stuck in traffic (mood point that turned out to be, but at least not for the usual reason). Admittedly this is a photo from last year, we didn’t stop there this time, I just wanted to show you guys the castle from the gates opposite from where we stop to set the satnav to find the hotel :). 

To illustrate how hot it was, on the way there we saw a field on fire. Proper on fire, huge cloud of smoke. Crazy! Driving home again, it turns out the fire had managed to burn off the entire side of the road as well, so YIKES! 
We were originally going to be there around 4PM at the latest, leaving us plenty of time to go to Disney Village to do some shopping and go to a buffet for dinner. 
Sadly, there were roadworks on the way, leading to traffic jams and we got there closer to 6PM. 
Considering it was hot like a furnace, we just figured we'd grab food at the local supermarket and relax in the room instead after getting food. 
I did pop by the pharmacy first because I could NOT find my skin tape (it's like regular tape, but the kind you stick to your skin instead of paper) and thought I had forgotten it. Sadly, because it was hot and I was sweaty and full of sunblock, the tape didn't take. So we had a look in the supermarket, and they had a different kind of skin tape that looked like it was a little sturdier (not how both the tapes together were still cheaper than the one they sell here!) and a pack of large plasters, because plasters tend to not let go of your skin despite of sweat and sunblock. 
Yeah, I was pretty determined to keep my new tattoo protected from the sun, and even though I probably looked ridiculous, I did succeed! 

Now, we didn't stay on site (we saw the prices and omg just no), we always stay at the Ibis in Champs-sur-Marne. Which is about 20 minutes away on the RER. It's a lot cheaper than staying on site, the staff is generally super friendly and helpful and even though the rooms are small, on the large they are functional. We were a little worried about the room temperature, because back in February the room was a little hard to get warm enough (and it was left on us to get it warm with the cooling/heating element in the room). But even though we didn't get there 'till 6PM, it was actually fine! 
The only issue I had, initially at least, was that it was facing the street side, even though I specifically requested the parking lot side, which is quieter, and the girl at the register just shrugged (she was legit the only employee ever who wasn't super friendly and helpful, she was borderline rude). 
And also that once again, there weren't enough towels (we always bring extra ourselves) and that there was just the all season comforter on the bed (and obviously a matrass cover sheet), and no sheet. Their idea of summer bedding literally was: let's take away the sheet and make people sleep with a duvet! 
The shower was also the worst ever: there was no water pressure to speak of and the temperature kept on switching from what you set it to to scorching hot or freezing cold. 
They're also making the free parking a paid for parking starting September, which we wouldn't have found out about if we hadn't stayed now. When I booked both this stay and the one for October, the website still listed: FREE PARKING. When I addressed the issue, the border line rude employee (who was now more friendly, but still utterly useless and refusing to do her job) just went: I don't know anything, I will speak to my manager (which of course she didn't). So we were a little less than impressed with our stay. 
On top of that, ever since February, the breakfast buffet has less and less items on it, and yet the prices are going up. 
So yeah, not sure if I still want to recommend that Ibis. 

In all fairness, the people we spoke on the 24th, were all super friendly and helpful. The employee I talked to about the parking told me that I should definitely email them, because for everyone that booked before the decision was made to make the car park paid for, would not have to pay. He, however, didn't know how much the parking would be per day, but guessed it would be around 5-7 euros. And ok, you know, not his fault he's not been informed by upper hand, but it strikes me as super unprofessional to put signs up everywhere saying “btw, starting September 2nd the carpark is no longer free” and then have zero info about prices. 
/rant about hotel fail. 

As you no doubt guessed, though we flaked out on Disney Village on the 1st day, we did proceed as planned to go to the Disneyland Park on the 2nd. We got up at 6am, showered (worst shower EVER, it being mega tiny just added insult to injury), went down for breakfast, packed the last things, put them in the car and walked down to the RER (which is around the corner from the hotel).

 

Because of the heatwave, they were issuing special tickets, that were only €3,80 per person and basically, for the entire day, we could go WHEREVER on the RER line around Paris on the Île de France track! Normally it's close to €9 for a return ticket, so now we saved a lot of money. 
What a great initiative! On top of that, this was valid on the bus, RER AND trains. And all three companies banded together to offer this service! 
The Belgian public transport (looking at you especially NMBS/SNCB) could learn a LOT from these guys! And the lady selling us tickets was super friendly too, bonus :). The RER literally just arrived when we got down on the platform (they're every 10 minutes or so anyway) so that was also great.

 

The bag check had a bit of a line, but not terrible, and it went really fast, so we were in it for like 5 minutes in total. 
So I grabbed my camera and wandered off to the Donald Desk. Or at least where it usually was. Because it had moved. 
A CM told us where to go, and rather than let us cross through the bulding for the whole 2 meters it was from where we were standing, she demanded we go outside and go around the building. Note how the area underneath the Disneyland Hotel, which is the entrance to the park, is not only covered, but also pretty cool. Whilst outside it was bleak sun and temperatures of 28 degrees. 
Frankly, under normal circumstances I don't mind, but I kind of feel that telling someone that is disabled, even when they don't have a visible disability, to do that walk in the middle of a heatwave is a little irresponsible, especially without any foot traffic from where the CM was and the desk. We didn’t feel like arguing about it and walked around, there were two windows open, both sorting out Bert's carer ticket, and we didn't have to wait. 

But then it started. I was starting to feel the heat dragging me down, so I explained (kindly and politely I add) to cast members at the entrance that I had difficulty standing, I could feint, I had a heart condition (note how it has been ALL OVER the media here, it's impossible to miss that people with a heart condition should not be left out in the blistering heat when not feeling 100%) and that I just wanted to go in, sort my green card and sit down for a cold drink. 
She was sympathetic, but also afraid to let me pass because it could get her in a world of trouble, so she sent me to her colleague, who was flat out an asshole about it. Literally, he made it very clear in his entire attitude that he thought that I was just making it up and told us to go to Disney Village and sit in the shade. And yes, he literally said that. 
Considering there was no shade around the main entrance to the Disneyland Park which hadn't already been taken by people waiting for the park to open and we had about an hour to kill, we did go to Disney Village. Where nothing was open 'till 9 (aside from a few places where you can get breakfast such as McMonsanto and Starbucks, which had ridiculously long queues). 
So we literally sat outside in the shade, drinking water we brought, 'till the shops opened and we could flee into the airco. 

In hindsight, we should have just gone into the Disneyland Hotel, but during morning rush with people arriving early, going out for Extra Magic Hours and breakfast being served, I was a little worried about being allowed to be in there. Next time I will give it a try though! 

You would think that Disneyland Paris would just open up earlier during the heatwave to get people out of the sun and oven like temperature, but no. No, they did not. And cast members either didn't care, or they were too scared to help people out because of repercussions from higher ups when breaking the rules. 
I'm sorry but WHAT?! 
It's also a stupid move commercially, because if you let people into an area where they can seek shelter from the heat in stores and eateries, it means they are likely going to spend money, and that means more revenue for the park. But apparently, such simple logic is beyond the operations team. 
You could argue that extra magic hours are a bonus for AP holders and hotel guests, but back in the day, they would let everyone in at 8AM, and simply rope off every area that wasn't Main Street. Meaning people would go in and spend €, but they couldn't do any rides that were already open. 
(Please don't give me the “personnel out in the heat” spiel, because the number of poor guest flow cast members around central plaza was mind boggling, so they had the personnel available!). 

 

Picture for Craig because he collects these things 

I did pick up some pins for Bert and friends in the old Disney Store, where the CM was super friendly (and also Belgian!), but aside from that, I didn't see anything in the other stores I wanted to buy. 

When we returned to the entrance at 9.20, there was an immense crowd, that wasn't moving (obviously because it wasn't 9.30 yet) and most people were already more than a little disgruntled. 
So I asked a CM if I could go through the area for the ticket desks. And she told me no. I could not. Even after I explained her my health issues and that there was a real risk I could feint. She just did not give a single shit. 

So here's my advice: lie your ass off. 
Say you have to buy a ticket, and just walk through the area to the turnstiles. 
If you're in a situation like I was in, where there's hardly anyone buying a ticket and there's no queue anyway (or hardly any) you’re not hindering anyone, so lie and take care of yourself. 

Luckily, Bert managed to manoeuvre me to the side against the fence, and as he's tall and capable to look downright menacing (he's super sweet, but they don't have to know that), people just avoided him like the proverbial plague. Which was good, because I am bog standard average in stature, and as I look different I am the first person that will get pushed and shoved in a queue by assholes (2 steps into some bitch was doing it on purpose, and one look at Bert she decided she had to be elsewhere). 
What do CMs do about people like that? 
Right: nothing. 

So yeah, getting into the park when you are disabled and not on site or an AP holder is something everyone should be very aware of that it's a bit of a problem. 
Why they don't have one gate just for people with disabilities, with some seating around, I will never understand. (If they do and I haven’t noticed, please let me know where it is!). 
DLP has got rides and characters mostly down, but they still fail horribly when it comes to queuing for everything else. A lot of people with disabilities can NOT stand for prolonged times, and yet, they are expected to queue at restaurants and stand most of the time.

 

Our first stop was City Hall, for my green card. We had expected there to be a queue (but City Hall has benches alongside a good chunk of the building and I had my folding seat with me) but there was no one! 
I did have to sit down, so the very, very kind CM moved us to a little table area, where she took all the time needed to fill in my card, and explain how things worked for the event shows and where the disability areas were. 
She was a real treasure that one! So sweet and helpful! 
They were out of birthday buttons, so she made me this cute card instead :).



 

Cards and plan for disabled guests in hand, we wandered over Main Street to Discoveryland, taking some photos along the way. Not as many as usual, because it was far too hot to stand still and take photos.



 

For a moment we pondered Buzz Lightyear Laser Blast, but instead we went to Star Tours. 
The regular queue was only 15 minutes, but because I was already feeling a little under the weather, we used the disability entrance. 
The CM letting us in was also super friendly, and told me I should show the card to the CM at the end of the queue. 
Star Tours tends to be a bit slow on the loading area (which makes total sense considering what kind of ride it is – no spoilers though for those that haven't done it yet), so I sat on my own seat 'till we got in our Star Speeder, which everyone was fine with. 
I did show the card to the CM at the end of the queue, and she was also mega friendly, albeit very confused about the fact someone actually did as told at the entrance outside :). 
Actually, all the cast members in Star Tours were super friendly. 
Someone had asked for an English viewing, so we got one, which added to the awesome. 
And it had Vader, which made it even better. 
And a lot of the people during the showing were really into it. 
If they did that during a Star Wars movie in the cinema I would be annoyed AF but here it just added to the experience so I'm glad they were in the ride with us! 

Star Traders is one of my favourite shops, and I always like looking around for cool Star Wars stuff. 
I don't necessarily buy stuff, but I always like looking. This time I did though. 
A good while ago (months and months) I saw this R2D2 tote bag by Loungefly which I liked. There was no way I was going to spend €79,99 on it though. With the sales going on, however, it had been 50% off, and as they still had a ton of them left, they took it down to literally €20. 
It turned out that one side is R2D2 and the other is C3P0, so yeah, extra cool. And a friendly CM took the tag of for me, saying she didn't need to see the receipt (she was at another cashier station) because she had seen me pay at her colleague's. 
Every CM in Star Traders was also super nice :).









 

Bert loves photographing shows, and he had been saying, repeatedly, that it was my birthday and we would only do things I wanted to do. 
But first of all I wanted him to have a good time too, and his favourite thing to do at the park is shoot the shows, preferably non-face characters. 
Secondly, I saw some photos of Jungle Jive, and it seemed like a fun show. Because Bert likes shooting face characters, I asked a guest flow CM on Central Plaza which the stage with the singer was, and then double checked with another CM, just to be sure.





 

And this is sort of where DLP could have done better I feel (not just for guests, but also for their poor staff who were working the area in the blistering heat). We were there for the first show of the day (because it was scorching hot at 11AM, but it would be much hotter later in the day). We got there at 10.30 because we wanted to make sure to have a good spot. 
We had looked at the disability area accross the street and it had two benches, but it was also in the blistering heat. 
So basically, it would get super crowded, with a much worse view from where we were right by the stage, because where we were waiting, there were also two benches! 
And even if the area around us would get crowded, I could still just sit and see that stage. Which is why we stayed where we were. 
We saw a lot of people with crutches and wheelchairs pretty much do the same at other stages, or sit by the curb. 







 

Would it have killed DLP to set up some more big parasols around Main Street USA (there were a few, but only very few of them, not nearly enough), which would have benefitted ALL GUESTS and their CMs working the area? Of course not, but could they be bothered? Nope. 
That said: it's a great show though! I really enjoyed it And Bert loved photographing it, so that was great too!



 

Some old photos from Fuente del Oro because I forgot to take some this time. I was both hungry and boiled. I'm pretty sure they got rid of the replica of the Incan [or is it Mayan?] sacrificial fountain though. But once upon a time, they had it, and this is proof :D. 

After seeing Jungle Jive, we decided to go have lunch at Fuente del Oro in Frontierland. 
The kind CM at the courtyard entrance had let everyone that wanted on there, because there is a lot of covered seating, and she told us it was opening in 3 minutes. So we sat down right by the entrance, in the shade, and were the second to get in and place an order. 

Oh boy, what the effing heck. The CM there first of all insisted on speaking English to me, even though I addressed here in French and she was clearly French. And no, I'm not a native French speaker, but you can hear that I can place an order, no issue. Good for her for trying to speak English, but she wasn't good enough to deal with people ordering, and therefor shouldn't have insisted on speaking English, even though I was speaking French. She didn't get that we wanted only one menu, and that I just wanted cherry coke and churros on top of it. 
Turned out the issue was that she had never even heard of cherry coke (under what rock she's been living, I don't even know) and they didn't have it, and well, that was all too much for her to handle. 
Did she just open with “I'm sorry, we don't have that drink, what exactly is it?” or some such, nope, nope she did not. But we got our food in the end, were able to go sit and eat in peace, and that was that.

 

We were quite curious about the show, Rhythms of the Pride Lands, in the Frontierland Theatre, so we walked there after lunch (and a quick visit to the loo and Peublo Trading, that was open for a change, but not as good as I remember it to be). 

There was a queue for Jessie, and opposite there was another queue, so we thought: oh that's probably for Woody or another character. Nope, the queue for the show was SO LONG it was mind boggling. And again: most of it was in the blistering heat. There were very few parasols in it, and it was super slow moving.

 

These were originally part of Swing into Spring. I like that they recycle things, it's way better than chucking them! 

 

Following it to Djembe Joy Village, the little Lion King village, we saw quite a few people on crutches, and even a few in a wheelchair, so we looked at each other and decided against even attempting to see the show. 

The girls manning the booth that had the souvenir cup I wanted (as a brush holder, some of those painting brushes are hella long handled) were really friendly, and explained to me that they had stopped serving cherry coke in most of the resort, so I just got the cup because I am not much fond of either regular Coke or Fanta. 

 

Seeing the show was a no-go we went to Phantom Manor instead. There initially wasn't a CM in sight, so I took some photos whilst debating whether or not doing the 20 minute queue. 
As by magic, a CM came down the path, and she kindly explained where we needed to go. 
The girl manning the disability area took one look at me and didn't even ask whether I wanted to do the elevator scene and the moving portraits, she just told us to sit down and wait to board at the exit area. 
I'm not mad about it, because I wasn't really up to standing in the loading area, risk getting jump scared (it's a legit risk, and one not to be taken when the heat is putting a strain on me) resulting in a trip to first aid because my arrythmea was acting up again. 
So yay for that kind CM! 
And it's great that they have the option for people to do that part of the ride! Obviously it means I can't talk about the queue, the elevator scene and the changing portraits, but I thought the refurb on the ride itself was rather disappointing. 
If you didn't have a memory for details (like Bert) you would notice hardly any difference and if you do (like me), well I thought there would be more changes. I am super happy that we can FINALLY hear Vincent Price though!

 

Not gonna lie, the splash section of Big Thunder Mountain looked mighty appealing. But I wasn't going to risk it on a day like that (Thunder is a danger to people with a bad heart as it is).



 

After the Manor, we abled towards Adventureland, only taking a stop at the popcorn cart on Central Plaza that sold the event popcorn buckets. I did have mine filled with sweet popcorn, because you know: big bucket of popcorn for €1. Loa cat approves, he likes to wander up to it, ask me to open it, and take out one or two pieces to snack on. Of course, by the time I post this, Loa has had like 8 pieces in total (over several days) and all the popcorn has been eaten.

I am not going to start collecting popcorn buckets but I wanted this one because I like how it looks, and it's very practical to store spare art supplies in. I will be using both the souvenir cup and bucket, just not for their intended food and drinks related purposes :). 

 

This outfit shot next to the main entrance of Adventureland is proof of how boiled I was! 





 

The initial idea was to go on a tour of Adventure Isle, but it was just too hot. 
Instead we went to sit on the nearly empty courtyard of Hakuna Matata, at a table in the shade, after a short wander. 
Coolpost was just around the corner, so I got Bert ice cream (they didn't have any I wanted) and we just sat there for a while, which was really rather pleasant! 
I could have sketched, but idiot that I am I forgot my sketchbook and erasable pencils in the car, oops! 
Wanting to do at least one more ride, we decided on Pirates. 
Because frankly the possibility of getting wet was really appealing! 
But alas, we did not get wet! 
But you know: pirates is always fun :). 

We did have a gander at the shop, but didn't see anything we wanted. Which is a bit of a theme of the day, but hey, good for my finances!

 

Cute duckling interlude.



 

 By that time it was about 1.30PM, and it was too hot to do much, but we also didn't want to go home yet either. 
So we decided to walk to Fantasyland and see about doing something there. There was hardly anyone in the labyrinth, which wasn't surprising because it was full on sun on the entire place and we gave it a hard pass too. 

Most of the rides there aren't suitable for someone as tall as Bert (the ride cars are too cramped) and the queues are all in the shade so they were really rather long, even the disabled queues). 
The Princess Pavillion had Snow White, which is typical! 
When we are there, Snow White is always available it seems (she's my friend Claire's fave) but never Rapunzel (Bert's fave). 
There might have been Princess meet and greets happening outside somewhere, but I would be very surprised considering the heat, and I didn't notice queues outside those for rides and the Gelato shop.



 

The passageway from Fantasyland to Discoveryland was open, so we walked there, and then through Hyperion, which was PACKED with people finding shelter from the heat. 
They have a self service drinks machine, which was, you guessed it: broken.

Which brings me to the next point. It was 38-40°C and 90% of all the little mobile stands selling drinks and/or ice cream were: you guess it, closed. 
Leading to pretty lenghty queues in shops and Cool Posts that were open. 
Rule number one Disney: when it's a heatwave, at least make sure there are drinks available easily! 
There are a few of those water screens around in the park, but they seemed a little few and far between. There are free drinkwater fountains, but again: pretty few and far between for such an amount of guests.
I would have thought they'd at least put a few signs up listing the locations of drinking fountains, but nope. 

 

By 2.30, we decided to go to the Disneyland Hotel and have a drink there, if needed from a bottle we brought ourselves in a sofa in a corridor (which we ended doing because we couldn't face another flight of stairs haha) and just think about what we wanted to do next. 
The Disneyland Hotel had some pitchers out with water with either slices of lemon, orange or cucumber floating in it, which you could take for free, so they were at least trying to cope with the heat wave as well as they could. 
Other hotels might have too mind, I didn't visit them so I don't know. 

Having only had churros for lunch, I did seriously consider going back into the park to walk to Frontierland to have a cheeseburger meal at Cowboy Cookout BBQ, but I had already eaten a burger meal last Sunday so we settled on going to Earl's in the Village instead.



 

Whilst wandering to Earls of Sandwich we came across some roaming characters for Lion King and Jungle, but I was so fried it didn't even dawn on me to ask them for a photo. 
Which is well stupid of me, because they looked super dieselpunk and would have been nice in my review of the event for Neverwas Magazine (which I also still haven't sorted out, d'oh!). 
But there you go! 
We did find a space to sit inside of Earls without having to drag ourselves up the stairs, so that was good. 
The food was mediocre, and if I had found out to whom the irritating spawn belonged to that kept on rapping and kicking the loo door when I was in that toilet stall I would have politely pointed out that their offspring is scum. 

After that we were well and truly boiled, so we gave up and went back to the hotel to pick up our car and drive home. 

All I can say: thank god for the AC! 
Because we once again got stuck in roadworks related traffic jams, urgh. 

In hind sight, the time of year, calendar wise, was pretty good. 
The UK school holidays started on the 24th, meaning that a huge chunk of visitors wasn't there yet. 
I'm also pretty sure that a lot of AP holders simply avoided the park on the day because of the heat. 
Also because a lot of people were sitting in the shade somewhere (whereever they found it) or in line for Rythem of the Pride Lands and rides in Fantasyland. Or simply in the Studios Park, crowd wise, it was definitely ok. 

Heat wise, I don't think that I would leave a reservation standing in the face of another heat wave (normally I don't go in the summer anyway) because if it had been a sensible temperature, we would have gotten so much more done. 
That said, we did have a good time (even if you can't tell from all my ranting), and that's all that matters :). 

All my photos of the trip are here. 
I know there's less photos than usual, but urgh, that heat! 

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